I believe in God...zilla

1st June 2012

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I could have eaten a dictionary and shat out better questions…

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?

Both. I have trouble maintaining eye contact because of my disability, but I’m always trying to work on it. I’ve gotten alot better, but even if I’m not making direct eye contact, I’m always listening to what someone has to say. 

2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?

I was angry because I still don’t exactly know what happened between me and Erica. 

3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?

I don’t know because I’d probably get no fucking service on my piece-of-shit phone. 

4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?

Not afraid. I’d tell all my friends and family I love them, tell Erica I’m sorry and wish her well, and live my last days as if I wasn’t dying at all.

5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love and Trust.

 Trust. Because love hurts worse when you find out it is wrong. If it is wrong, that is. 

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not?

Save the dog’s life. Fuck my boss he can go suck a giant reptile dick. Bald-headed cunt.

7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?

What kind of fucking dumb question is this? I’d imagine either one wouldn’t be worser than the other, but I’m really forgiving and I give second chances. 

8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?

Depends if I’m attracted to her also. But I have no real “best” female friends at the moment. 

9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not?

No. Sorry Grandpa :( I’m sure he wouldn’t want that anyway. 

10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?

Yes. I’m loyal, I’m loving, I’m willing to do anything for my friends and I put them before myself always. I’d take a bullet for any one of them. 

11. Does love = sex?

Of course. It is human nature, no? To have sex with someone you love? Or do you mean are sex and love the same thing? If that is the case, nope. And if you believe that, you have alot of learning about human emotions to do. 

…am I looking at this from a more logical and scientific perspective? God dammit, I fucking hate this normal human emotion crap. 

12. Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not?

 Yes. Because they need that position more than I do. 

13. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?

Erica. But I barely remember what it was exactly. The details are muddled. Kind of hard to remember what goes on in the middle of an autistic meltdown. The incredible head and chest pains that I endure during them are awful.  

14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite sex, you love them or that you do not love them back?

Eh… not-love I suppose. I never been in this situation so I don’t know what to do exactly. 

15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?

Dinosaurs. You know why. 

16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?

My mother. Because, you know, she’s my fucking mother? Duh. 

17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?

Actually man-the-fuck-up and talked to Erica in person. 

18. Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?

Nobody. I’d go out there and find out who the fuck it is.  

19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?

Of course. I’m here to save lives. 



Where the fuck is question 20? 


21. You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?

My grandmother. I don’t like babies. Little sacks of meat with eyes and a rudimentary brain that just cry all the time and it hurts my ears worse than you can imagine.

Besides, I love my grandmother and her cooking is fucking awesome. 

22. Are you old fashioned?

I don’t know. Do dinosaurs count?  

23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?

Oh. Erica, of course. I’m not sure if she actually valued anything I did for her, considering how easily she cut me off from her life instead of talking things out. But maybe she did and she misunderstood what happened and thought I was a gigantic fucking asshole more than her gigantic fucking asshole guitar-douchebag ex-boyfriend.  

Oh well, hope you enjoy the Garrus t-shirt and the router I gave you that costed $80 when I bought it. What, you thought I was nice to you and did everything for you in hope for sex in return? Am I the only guy on this fucking planet with something called SELF CONTROL and does things for the people I like because they do alot for me in return? 

24. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?

This is a dumb question. For someone like me, either are equally painful, and I’m currently experiencing the second one.  

25. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?

 Oh man, there are alot of things. A second chance with Erica, dinosaurs to be brought back to life, but most of all, I’d like to be a god and rule over this planet. This place is a shit hole with too many of these idiotic fuckwits in power. 

31st May 2012

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They pushed back Aliens: Colonial marines AGAIN

TO FEBRUARY. IT’S BEEN FIVE FUCKING YEARS WHY HASN’T THIS GAME BEEN RELEASED YET. GOD MOTHER FUCKING COCK SUCKING TITTIE HUMPING DAMMIT!

31st May 2012

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An Autistic misunderstood…

Non-autistic people have no idea what people like myself go through every day. And when I screw up because of my autism I’m apparently using it as a crutch? 

How? That’s why autism is a disability. Sometimes I screw up and I make mistakes. I’m not fucking perfect. It makes it difficult as hell trying to communicate with people, so excuse me if I make a mistake. Atleast I’m sorry for it, and you can God damn tell I’m sorry. Don’t cut me off and suddenly want nothing to do with me, let me explain what happened. Tell me what I did wrong also. I wasn’t born with social skills and while I try to understand what happened sometimes I can’t no matter how hard I try to. If you don’t tell me, I don’t know what I did wrong and it eats away at me no matter how much I want to forget about it. I could end up making the same mistake again and still not even know what happened. And it probably wasn’t a mistake, it was just a huge misunderstanding about what actually happened. 

I don’t want sympathy, though I’d appreciate it if you offer it. But all I God damn want is some understanding and respect. Most of grade school I had it pretty fucking rough because I wasn’t diagnosed with Asperger’s until last year. I was bullied constantly and barely anything was done by it, I received no special help and not one, NOT ONE, of my teachers never picked up on the fact that maybe I was different from the other kids because I had a legitimate disability like this.

You know what some of those teachers did instead?  They made fun of me. I heard them make remarks about what they apparently thought I was going to turn into when I was older. That hurt. It really fucking hurt. 

I’m glad I proved them wrong. Let me make this clear:
I would never take someone’s life 

 Maybe, maybe in self defense. That’s it. I’m not selfish and I’m not confrontational. I’m a peaceful person. I have my moments (Everybody does) but I’d rather be friends than enemies. Why anyone would prefer the other way around is beyond me.



This is just another one of my rants that probably nobody is gonna read, and those who do will think I’m crazy or some crap. Ah well, you have to go crazy in order to stay sane.  

30th May 2012

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I feel weird having a Tumblr…

I feel like to have a Tumblr, I should be either female or some giant ego’ed hipster artist that gets tons of pussy yet is secretly a closet homosexual. 

Well, I’m an autistic and artistic socially-retarded physically-unreadable straight atheist male with God-like intellect, an obsession for dinosaurs, collects transformers, bashes the heads of religious fundamentalists with my all-mighty hammer of logic, and an incredibly diverse sense of humor that ranges from dry wit to morbid to just plain fucked-up, that has a high chance of never getting laid or ever being in a relationship but to compensate for that my mind can think ridiculously faster than any one of you neurotypical bastards as well as comprehend the entire 14,000,000,000 year span of our universe.


Do I fit in? O_o

26th May 2012

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WHY AM I FUCKING UP THIS EARLY?

FUCK. YOU.

25th May 2012

Post reblogged from It's just a flesh wound. with 32 notes

You will regret leaving a Virgo. You will only realize how much you miss and love them when nobody else treats you the way they did.

bustedmelikearobocop:

Hahaha. I wish people thought this.

But she left me and I treated her like a queen D: 

Source: aimandguts